As per Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary

euphoria / noun : an extremely strong feeling of happiness and excitement that usually lasts only for a short time

I feel like writing to the publishers and telling them that they need to elaborate more, because a person unfamiliar with the word 'euphoria' wouldn't be able to grasp the sheer magnitude of that simple, eight-lettered, vowel-filled word.

Euphoria.

Imagine walking around with a smile on your face that you just can't wipe off.

Imagine stubbing your big toe against a granite pond, only to say 'BLOODY HELL!' and then smile dreamily, because there's a big happy bubble inside you that neutralizes any negative emotions that may slink into your mind.

Those are the repurcussions - I mean, rewards - of passing.

Imagine that law school is everything you've dreamt of, this is the pinnacle of your education, and how devastating it would have been to have ... failed.

Imagine having met an amazing group of friends, who have shown their loyalty and fondness for you, and imagine having that jeopardized by the possibility of not passing. Because that would mean being held back a year, and that would mean bidding your friends farewell. And that would mean you wouldn't get to explore a whole different country (the Reading campus in England) together with them.

Imagine your family, the huge extended one, that looks on you as the eldest grandchild, the little role model for all your cousins to follow, and if you failed ... there would have been an endless array of questioning at every family reunion, every supposedly joyful gathering, every time you visited your grandparents.

Those are the repurcussions of failing.

Now, I feel like I've misspelled 'repurcussions' - oh yes, I have, it's actually 'repercussions'.

The thing I'm trying to say is, it seems like a really big deal if you look at the pass-fail agenda the way I've just described it. But truth be told, it isn't. It really isn't. It isn't the end of the world.

There are 20+ students in my cohort. My best friends in class have all passed except for one.  As far as I've heard so far, three of my classmates have failed one subject each i.e. failed first year. I like those three students very much, and I'm bummed that we won't get to be classmates anymore.

But this is fate, right? This is what was meant to happen. To quote Jon Bon Jovi: 'You're exactly where you're supposed to be'. So although it may be difficult, although it may be hard to deal with, especially considering nobody deserves to fail -- I wish them all the best.

* end semi-philosophical snore-essay *

Sooo how was your day?

I've cleaned and organised all my Year 1 things, including typing out a neater-than-stewardess's-hair-buns list of my books and comments, etc.. This will save me a lot of time and trouble when the new intake of first year students want to buy my textbooks.  Euphoria gives a burst of energy unlike any other, I tell you.

And then I've sorted all my notes and all other materials besides textbooks - to give it all to Leila.  It's organised by topics and filed into assignments, tutorials, notes, miscellaneous.  I really, really, really hope all of that will help her do well! And I hope that she'll learn from my mistake of not working hard enough in Year 1.

So funny how I worked my buttocks off for SAM, and then slacked my toenails off for first year law school. Not going to let that slacking ever happen again! I can't handle slacking then cramming, my brain is not built for that kind of studying! Some people can do it (e.g. not come to classes all year long, then study hard in 2 weeks then ace the exams), but I'm definitely not one of those people!

Hey An, remember my SAM economics folder? All three folders are a li'l bigger than that one!!  The Contract Law folder cannot even be closed.

All riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight people, let's get ready for Year 2!!! Although I don't actually have any materials yet.  Never mind, never mind, take it easy and consistent!

xoxo, sha

Okay.

It is now 1:04am.

In less than 23 hours, I will know my exam results.

Pass or fail, I've made my peace with the fact that I've tried.

Have a good week!

*

3.35am

I'm still online! Looks like my nerves have kept me hooked on the Internet.

Either that, or it's Ventrilo, this new voice chat system my friend William's got me to download.  It's pretty fun! I'm not actually talking (feeling too warbly and shy at half past three in the morning), but I'm having a blast eavesdropping on the others' conversation.